The 30-day self love challenge

Juli Hicks 1 E1 A4565 622

By Juli Hicks, Certified Life Coach

During a recent coaching session, a client told me she wanted to work on her relationships. She was struggling with her husband, her daughter, her boss and a friend.

We did not spend time focusing on those people, but rather looking at her relationship with herself.

The most important relationship we have is with ourselves. Regardless of the problem, that’s where the work begins.

Like many women, this client was particularly hard on herself.

After some exploring, she revealed that her cycle included setting a goal, then not seeing progress, feeling disappointed in herself, beating herself up, adding in self-sabotaging behaviors and then abandoning the goal and herself.

She was often dissatisfied with herself, so it stands to reason that she could not be satisfied with her relationships. After all, everything on the outside of us is a reflection of what’s going on inside.

The solution was a heaping dose of self-love—to be kind to herself for 30 days—even if she made a mistake, said the wrong thing, or did not show up perfectly.

This required her to be aware of her thinking patterns and negative self-talk.

Once she recognized the negative spin cycle, she could disrupt the automatic negative thoughts and redirect her mind to compassion, understanding and acceptance of herself and the world around her.

She felt more at peace, and this influenced how she showed up for others in her life.

This may sound easy on the surface, but it is hard work—and it is worth doing. Life is too short to sit around beating yourself up.

Is your inner critic wreaking havoc on relationships? I encourage you to take the 30-day self-love challenge. Feel free to reach out if you need support along the way.

Juli Hicks is a certified Life Coach. Contact her or sign up for her Flourishing after 50 program at