Here’s how to handle conflict in your marriage and come out stronger
By Patricia Nugent
Even the most harmonious of unions will encounter a few bumps along the road.
Research shows that it’s not necessarily the conflict itself that sinks a relationship, but how a couple handles it.
To effectively navigate conflict and strengthen the connection in a marriage or relationship, from everyday fights and stressors to big life transitions such as having children and becoming empty nesters, the group of professionals at Kent Psychological Associates founded its specialized couples therapy program four years ago.
“Our mission is to help people build stronger relationships through a positive approach,” says Nicole Melchi, director of family programs.
Led by six seasoned professionals—Kim Griffith LPCC, Janelle Fye NCC.LPC, Kelly Harmon LPCC, Mitch Harmon LPCC, Nicole Melchi MFT.LPCC-S, and Avery Zook Ph.D.—case consultation is an important component to the program.
“Our professionals continually consult with one another to provide the most well-rounded treatment to our couples,” says Nicole. “This collaborative spirit is our biggest strength.”
Tapping into the Gottman Method
World-renowned therapist Dr. John Gottman has identified the communication habits that will likely increase a couple’s chances for divorce: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt.
The couples therapy program at KPA was intentionally developed around the Gottman Method. It’s the only practice in the area where its couples clinicians have a combination of all three levels of training in the Gottman Method.
“We specifically chose this method because it has been researched for more than 40 years and the interventions used have been proven to strengthen relationships,” says Nicole. “We begin with the couple completing an online relationship assessment through the Gottman Institute. This is followed by the clinical assessment of the couple, which usually takes three sessions. Treatment follows after this with 90-minute sessions. Most couples do eight to 12 sessions that could be weekly, biweekly or monthly, whatever best suits their situation.”
“Oftentimes a couple will come to therapy and want to begin addressing their main conflicts, but that’s not the first step we take,” she explains. “We start with foundational skills such as fostering friendship and admiration, then build on those.”
Virtual Therapy, Premarital Classes
Sessions are available either virtually or in person at the welcoming and homey rooms at KPA headquarters, just south of Twin Lakes.
“We’re able to bring both people together virtually with a therapist and this is convenient for them. We’re often able to do it over a lunch hour if needed,” she says.
As we all know, an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. That’s why the premarital classes at Kent Psychological are also important.
One of the couples who recently attended a relationship talk with Nicole are Amanda and Anthony, who had this to say afterward: “It was amazing! We feel like we really connected and learned some new things. It’s so important to have these discussions before marriage. It made us really look into our relationship. With this being a second marriage for both of us, we want to get it right this time.”
Kent Psychological Associates is located at 190 Currie Hall Parkway, in Kent. Call 330-673-5812 or visit KentPsychological.com/Marriage-Counseling/ for more information. Visit their Facebook page to view Relationship Remedies, which features individual episodes to help people tackle common relationship issues with practical tools.