Managing holiday expectations

By Juli Hicks, Certified Life Coach

Along with all the joy of the season, there is an equal amount of negative emotion in the air.

From my experience, all the expectations heaped upon us are the main reason we get stressed out over the holidays.

We also have expectations of others, and when they don’t meet those expectations, we assign meaning to it.

Here’s an example from a recent coaching session. My client is depressed and disappointed because her son’s family has alternative holiday plans. She expects to celebrate every Christmas together and because it is not happening, she is making it mean that he doesn’t love her and that the holiday is ruined. My job, as her coach, is to help her process her feelings and to get her to a place where she understands that she’s creating her own suffering. There is way more to this, but, in short, she is outsourcing her current emotional well-being and her experience of the holidays to someone else.

The best way to manage the holidays is to be clear on your expectations and preferences, communicate them in a loving way, and take responsibility for your own emotions while allowing your family members to do the same.

To help with managing expectations and relationship challenges, I teach a concept to my clients called “Emotional Adulthood.”

“Emotional Adulthood” is summed up as self-responsibility—taking full responsibility for every single thing we feel, no matter what someone else does or doesn’t do. For most of us, it is a huge challenge, but it is work worth doing. We experience more peace in our lives and our relationships become richer.

Feeling stressed about the holidays? Call me. Together we can plan for your best season yet.

You may also join me for a Flourishing and Fun Workshop on Sunday, November 20. The topic will be “How to Have More Holiday Happiness.” Find the details at https://www.JuliHicks.com/events.